#17/To fight for one self

 
     I remember when I was young and everything seem so simple,when the most difficult problem you could run to is wether to choose a red crayon or a red marker,wether you should check under your bed or inside your closet to verify that no mosnters were awaiting to haunt you as soon as you went to sleep.
I was raise in a small town call ''Playas de Tijuana'' ,you could say that at the time I was raise there that part of Tijuana was the lost and forgotten part,not even the public transportation could run that far,when we took it we had to get  off at the last stop and keep on walking,the blacktop wans't even a blacktop ,just  rocks and dark dirt.My house was pretty big,you could say that I was rich at that time.I had no worries, nothign at all,I wasnt the happiest o girls,but i  could't complain.
Everything that I knew,was just ripped out of my hands when my mom announce to me a malificent sentence ''You're going to the other side to study for the rest of your school life.'' i was devastated.How could my mom do this to me,how can she,isn't there  a law that prevents this kinds of decisions.She told me it was my choice wether I wanted to go or not,but of course that was just empty speech to make me feel more control.I wanted to drop to the ground  and make a big scene even tho we were in the secluded side of my living room and technically no one could see my big tantrum than my mom and Marta,who at the time was my ''babysitter'' (she really didn't took care of me but she made me feel like a grown up when i talked to her,so she was alright)
I, coming from a private school,with a class of about 7 to 8 kids,was sent to Palomar elementary school, as a third grader I was mindless and unaware that  in this school they don't speak spanish.Me not even know more than pen,hen,and chicken,now was expected to have a full size conversation.I just rested my self to not speak at all.I hated the school.I hated the teacher.I dispite my classmates,and I abhorrence every minute of it.I had a habbit of faking headaches and pain in my stomach so that my mom would take me away from my torture.For all i could hear was   static  and  words that might have as well been some witchcraft,and it seem that no one bother to explain to me what was happening.Retreving me to the computers as an alternative to learning this native language that I was confronting for the first time,I was socially excluded,as to be sick with a strange deseas,everyone seem to avoid me. I try to be socially involve with my classmates,my plan fail  since  they  would ridicule me  when I was not near,they might as well do it in front of me since I did not understand.Often I would try to not speak,since I was stab by the comments of my thick accent,how could I with a few years of knowledge be defended.My mom would come to the school to hang out with me,since I lack friends.

  In those years my sister became ill,really ill.My dad became also ill.My mom became pregnant and had a baby,he didn't make it threw.I was then taken care by my uncles.They were indeed difficult years, and to the pit of my stomach I kinda wanna seek revenge for those who treat me wrong and laugh because of my struggle.How dare they laugh at someone misfortune.Yet still they continue with it.
 Years pass,and everyone grew up and went their own way,some of them I see them daily, ignoring the remarks they had leave in me,masking the bitterness I refuge. However, in dispite of those memories, there were people,students who would see surpass the covers,which is what brougth me hope and thanks to that I had become the person that I am now.